When they decide not to go back

“First step: try not to freak out. Second step: listen and validate. Third step: have a plan!   When the college student you’re so proud of drops the “I have decided I’m not going back to school” bomb, there are a lot of ways you can respond.  Notice how I didn’t say ‘react?’  If you react, it will most likely come from a deep-seeded place filled with subconscious beliefs and values.  Shock, frustration, disappointment, shame, and indifference are only a couple responses you might have.  Although you may be feeling all of these, for the sake of your young adult’s well-being, please keep them to yourself.   Freaking out will only create a traumatic moment in your relationship and send them down a shame spiral that may feel temporarily hopeless in getting out of.  No matter how much emphasis you put on education, right in this moment you’ve got to let that go.”


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